I am free from the substance(today) but there seems to be so much more to do.....

Sexual addictions have been ruling my life since I could remember, but they didn't seem to bother me until after I got clean and sober. I Have recently been married and these thoughts had only mildly afected me prior to my marriage but now they are trying to overtake me. My lustful eyes cause me a lot of internal pain that I feel needs to be addressed but I have not found a way. To me, being an active member of the substance recovery population means to work on my entire being and not simply just getting rid of the drugs. I read something this morning that said something to the effect of when you are done using drugs you are no longer an addict, but if this were true then I would not be fighting with yet another addiction. I immediately recognized that this person could never have been an addict simply because they would know and understand that the addictive nature never fully leavs us but, instead, just switches forms. GOD has freed me from my active drug and other substance addictions, but HE has not freed me from the sexual addictions as of yet. Today, I am clean and sober and excited about what the day has to offer but I long for the day that I can finally find my release from my sexual addictions. "GOD, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Just For Today: In recovery, my motives have changed. I want to do things for the right reason, not just for my personal benefit. Today, I will examine my motives.

Life in Recovery as of 6/6/2014:

Today, my recvovery has taken a new turn and for the better. I am currently on break from college and working on gaining a certificate to become a recovery coach in my state. I have been blessed with finding a place that not only accepted me and my past for what they were, but they were encouraging as they explained how my past is my biggest asset. I still have some slips and falls along this journey of recovery but I still have not found it neccessary to use substances in order to make it through.
It has been a looooong time since I took the time to write and for that I apologize. School has been hectic but still maintaining a 3.7 GPA. I am working with other alcoholics and addicts who are on their path to their own recovery and we are working together in order to stay clean and sober one day at a time. I hope that everyone else is doing well and has a blessed day. Until next time, be blessed and remember that recovery is possible for each and every one of us.

Jason B.
Sober in Recovery since Sept. 12, 2011.

Life is Life is Life is Life

Life Today

Today, I am living a life that has only proven itself to get better and better because of my higher power, who I choose to call God, and the program of A.A. I have not had to take a drink since Sept. 12, 2011 and each day that goes by without a drink, I am a winner. I am in my 3rd semester of college and maintaining a GPA of 3.7, I have become the President of my college's Human Services Club, and the woman who has been with me through the roughest times of my life, and now, has made a decision to allow me to be a permanent part of her life. We will be getting married on November 23, 2013. Yep just a few weeks away! I am so excited about this time in my life. These are all the awesome things that sobriety has allowed me to experience, but I cannot forget that God through A.A. has given me this gift. I hope that ALL people who suffer from this disease of addiction can eventually find their way to continued and sustained sobriety. I found myself watching a few videos on You Tube about the supposed cult of A.A. and all I could do is laugh at how these people just seemed to say words that they weren't even sure they believed. I am proud to acknowledge that I am an alcoholic/addict and I am powerless over my addiction, but my way of reaching sobriety is not the end all be all. The 12 steps work for me and may not work for others but my goal is to help others find their way to sobriety and not try to hinder them as these videos seemed to do. It burns me up to hear how people will actually go out and tell people not to believe a set of principles that may actually help them and then never offer any type of actual help for them to seek. If stopping on our own was as simple as some say then we probably would have stopped long before the "trouble" became too great(at least I would have). I pray that my words reach those they need to reach. No program or believe has the end all be all "cure" for the disease what we have is an opportunity to find something that works for each one of us one day at a time. Stay strong and seek sobriety as desperately as you would seek that next hit or drink. God Bless.

Jason B. sober in recovery since Sept. 12, 2011

It has been a little while since I posted anything, but I wanted to say that I am still alive and sober. Life has gotten pretty hectic and busy for me as of late which is why I have not posted in awhile. I can feel myself slipping closer to complacency and thus wanted to come back and write. I do not know how much time I can devote to writing these blogs but I still wanna write. I will be getting married on the 23rd of next month. We had it planned out for June of 2014 and then out of nowhere she came to me and said she wanted to do it sooner. I am thrilled with the new date because we have been practicing abstinence for waaaay too long now, and the sooner we make it official the sooner we can...... well you get the point. School is super busy and still no work but in God's time not mine. I just celebrated my 2nd sober anniversary back on the 12th of September and life has not gotten any slower. I am excited for the coming of slow time of year but not for the colder weather or mass number of holidays where I will not have any money(again) in order to get gifts for people. Oh well time for my creative side to start working again. It was nice to write again. See you all again soon.
Jason B. Sober in Recovery since Sept. 12, 2011