Sexual addictions have been ruling my life since I could remember, but they didn't seem to bother me until after I got clean and sober. I Have recently been married and these thoughts had only mildly afected me prior to my marriage but now they are trying to overtake me. My lustful eyes cause me a lot of internal pain that I feel needs to be addressed but I have not found a way. To me, being an active member of the substance recovery population means to work on my entire being and not simply just getting rid of the drugs. I read something this morning that said something to the effect of when you are done using drugs you are no longer an addict, but if this were true then I would not be fighting with yet another addiction. I immediately recognized that this person could never have been an addict simply because they would know and understand that the addictive nature never fully leavs us but, instead, just switches forms. GOD has freed me from my active drug and other substance addictions, but HE has not freed me from the sexual addictions as of yet. Today, I am clean and sober and excited about what the day has to offer but I long for the day that I can finally find my release from my sexual addictions. "GOD, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Just For Today: In recovery, my motives have changed. I want to do things for the right reason, not just for my personal benefit. Today, I will examine my motives.
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