Learning to Say No

 

I have never been too good with saying no, and it seems that even in sobriety that trait continues to be present. I am just not always sure how to say no to people. I have problems with saying no without getting sarcastic or angry. How do I get better with this? Since getting sober, I have been learning more about how to work on small engines and since people know that I can work on them, they always seem to want me to fix theirs. I didn't have a problem in the beginning, but now it seems that they want me to not only fix their mowers and such, but now they want to decide when I will do it. Sometimes I would really just like to tell them go and jump off a bridge and to make sure they use their junk as an anchor.

I know that I do not want to say these things because part of my recovery involves doing things differently than I used to, but I do not want to always be the go to guy or the "hey fix this junk now" guy either. I am trying to learn new ways of being nice and still saying no, but I am not quite there yet.

Another one of my traits used to be that I would just lie to them in order to keep from doing the work, but again I am not looking for the easier softer way anymore. I could really use some help with tips on saying no without being the rude jerk or liar that I used to be. Any ideas????

Jason B. Sober in Recovery since September 12, 2011.